The Ultimate Sohma Fan Club
by Jolee Finch
Summary: Shigure has another love aside from his wife Akito... which is, writing. Decided to make a glorious comeback as a novelist, he searches a few publishing firms while still bugging Hatori. HOWEVER, that's not the only insanity featured here! T.
1. Doggone Antics

**DISCLAIMER: ****I do not own anything related to Fruits Basket. It all belongs to Natsuki Takaya.**

**The Ultimate Sohma Fan Club**

**Doggone Antics**

Judging by the frenzied way Akito tapped her fingers on the table, someone was clearly desperate; not only her, but also the person who had been calling almost five times in a row asking for the pesky dog sleeping upstairs. _"No, he's not available at the moment"_, she repeated through clenched teeth while Shigure snored happily and loudly, without a care in the world and turning in his bed, glasses askew. He even wiggled his toes.

Downstairs, Akito kept a sly eye on the phone while reading a magazine. A brisk _ring-ring_ reached her ears and echoed maddeningly inside her head. She was tired of this. "_Yes?_" she intoned with a measured calmness. "But Shigure had another meeting yesterday with the editors at Okama, so why…?" Akito breathed slowly, flipping absentmindedly through random pages, pondering about the voice at the other end of the line. "If this meeting is so important for his career—" she grabbed a pen and jotted down an address on a Dog Chow advertisement. "If you stop calling, he will be there in an hour." Hanging up, Akito looked at the ceiling and hollered, "Shi-gu-reeee! SHIGURE!"

Heavy footsteps were heard coming down the stairs. Shigure then stopped to yawn and adjust his robe. "Akito, sweetheart, I'd love to hear you scream at another time, you know… you sound so stressed out."

Akito blushed a faint pink and lowered her eyes, smiling awkwardly. "You silly, you're late for another meeting again" she simpered, handing the address to Shigure. "I'm not your secretary" she pouted as Shigure embraced her. She snuggled, resting her head on his shoulder, he ruffled her hair.

"I'm sorry, Akito. I dragged you into the very middle of an important comeback I'm trying to make after a year-long hiatus. Once it's published, I'll just go on a little tour and it'll be over." Akito sighed and hugged him tighter, Shigure smiled more warmly. "Honey, you know this is what I do for a living… fans are desperate for Papa Shigure." He imagined Hatori shrugging at these words and let go of Akito, smiling. He held her hand and kissed her forehead sweetly. "I better get ready, Hatori surely had the day off."

**************************************************

"Shigure, if you keep interrupting me while I diagnose a patient, I'll charge you. Double fee", Hatori muttered softly, a hint of threat in his voice. Shigure used the side mirror to check if he had tied his tie properly.

"I'll remind you, that's my suit you're wearing. I want it laundered by the time I claim it back" Hatori pinpointed, even more softly.

"Which will be… next year! Shigure added with mirth. "Oh, Ha-san! What would I do, where would I be without you?" he said in a sing-song voice to Hatori, who was focused on the road and stopped at a red light. "You'd probably be in jail or in a mental institution. Both maximum security" Hatori replied dryly.

"How are you and Mayu doing?" Shigure prompted, as if all Hatori had said had absolutely nothing to do with him. "Mayuko and I are doing well", Hatori said rather stiffly, but with an unmistakable, happy gleam in his eyes as he drove on.

"Ha'ri, imagine if the four of us had children! Honestly, it's a bit hard to picture since you're a bit of a grouch sometimes, but that doesn't matter. Most important, I have the perfect babysitter for them!" Hatori gulped, speeding up a little. "Awwww, you're excited by the idea, aren't you?" Hatori didn't reply, looking at the directions Akito wrote. Shigure pressed on, "Don't play fool, Ha'ri. Of course we all know it will be our dear Tohru! She's so motherly, in a cute sort of way, don't you think?"

Hatori sighed and made a U-turn. He noticed a huge skyscraper ahead, with a fancy-looking sign, Ink-Link Publishers was embossed on it in shiny coppery letters. He parked the car beside the sign and Shigure grabbed a black leather briefcase, which also happened to belong to Hatori.

Shigure unbuckled his seat belt, got out of the car and closed the door. "Sadly, I must depart, work awaits me. Thanks, Ha-san!" Shigure turned and began to walk away.

_Finally. Yes. Go on and work like a responsible adult_; Hatori thought as he saw Shigure's form even further away.

He reached into his pocket and fished out a cigarette. Lighting it, he lowered his side windows and smoked, enjoying valuable seconds of peace and quiet. Minutes later, someone tapped him on the shoulder. It was Shigure. "Ha'ri?" Hatori looked up at him, eyes narrowed. "What now, Shigure?" he asked, holding the cigarette between his fingers. "Ha'ri" Shigure almost pleaded "I… I don't wanna go in there alone…"

Hatori gave Shigure a piercing look and nodded curtly, waving his hand to tell Shigure to back away from the door. Hatori lighted out the cigarette and threw it in the trash can. After securing the car, he began walking towards the skyscraper, with Shigure buzzing in his wake. "Ha'ri… and after the meeting, can we order some Takoyaki for take-out?"


	2. The Lolita Receptionist and the

**DISCLAIMER: ****I do not own anything related to Fruits Basket. It all belongs to Natsuki Takaya.**

**The Lolita Receptionist and the Femme-Fatale**

A sudden chill wrapped both men as they entered Ink-Link's ground lobby. The air conditioner was on full-blast and Shigure shivered a bit while he signed the visitor's attendance sheet after Hatori. Everything was neatly organised and spotless. The walls had a nice, peach-like hue about them and several pictures featuring famous writers were on display. The building emanated a silky wave of elegance which matched well with Shigure's attire, but blended in perfectly with Hatori's personality.

The ground lobby receptionist pointed quietly at a lift and told them to go to the sixth floor, to the President's office. With a sweet smile, she also informed they would meet the President's receptionist there first to check their appointment.

The lift was located at the far end of the lobby, and when they took it, it glided soundlessly all the way to the sixth floor. It felt as if they had floated all the way to the President's reception.

They arrived at a more spacious lobby decorated with cheery yellow wallpaper and a few potted orchids. Mellow music played in the background as they noticed a cute but very young girl sitting at what they presumed was her desk. Even though the girl wore a white blazer, Shigure and Hatori wondered if she was really old enough to work… but from clearly different perspectives.

Upon noticing their presence, the girl stood up to greet them, her light purple curls bouncing on her shoulders. She stared at Shigure, her amber eyes wide as flying saucers. She inclined her head politely. "You must be Shigure-san!" she said joyfully, then blushed as she noticed Hatori and greeted him quietly. "Ehhh… I can call you Shigure-san, right? I am so rude… sorry…"

Shigure chuckled and smiled at the girl. "Why of course you can. Always good to know I have such an enthusiastic fan." Shigure felt himself rise a few inches off the floor, Hatori cleared his throat. The girl almost jumped, clearly startled at the sound. "Silly me! I am Misaya Rina, President Saki's receptionist! I am so sorry… I forgot to introduce myself!"

Shigure felt an upsurge of compassion. "It's alright, Rina-kun. Hatori here looks awfully intimidating, but he's actually quite harmless". Hatori bowed his head to Rina. "Sohma Hatori. It's very nice to meet you, Misaya-san." Rina's eyes grew wider and she blushed wildly. "Oh, no! Pleasure is all mine! I must show you to the President's office!" Hatori stepped back, indicating it was better for him to leave, but Rina reassured there wasn't any problem. "Really, we welcome any of Shigure-san's relatives too! If you would please follow me!" Rina suddenly looked chibi-like in Shigure's eyes and babbled nonstop about her adorable qualities to a weary Hatori as they walked to the President's office.

****************************************************

"Very well. At last, I get to meet _the_ Sohma Shigure… and he's brought some company. Have a seat", a smooth female voice trailed from behind a dark desk. "Thank you, Misaya-san. You may leave" the female voice ordered. Rina left quietly and closed the door after Shigure and Hatori were seated. The woman sitting in front of them had flowing black hair and equally dark eyes that shone like coals. She wore a dark red, shapely suit and she was smiling wistfully, her fingers interlocked. "I am Maki Sayako, President and owner of Ink-Link Publishers. My firm has been eagerly seeking some sort of… collaboration from you, Sohma-san. We would be honoured if you let us assist you with the editing of your new paperback release. Most certainly, we will ensure it becomes a smash-hit".

Shigure tugged at the collar of his shirt a bit. Sayako was every bit as stunning as she sounded. Hatori narrowed his eyes, drumming his fingers on his knee. Sayako smiled cattily at him. "You must be the physician, Sohma Hatori. As refined and handsome as they say" Sayako voiced in a very sultry fashion and Hatori raised his eyebrows. _How does this woman know my name?_

As if reading his thoughts, Sayako explained. "Misaya-san makes a circus out of everything. No need to eavesdrop. She is efficient though". Sayako snapped her fingers loudly. Shigure focused all his attention on her.

"Onaki-san!" Sayako called bossily and a petite woman emerged from an awfully cluttered cubicle. Shigure and Hatori looked surprised, finding it close to wonder that someone could work in such claustrophobic conditions.

"President Maki has her resources. I am Onaki Aitsuko, Ink-Link's vice-president and consultant" she bowed her head politely and fell silent. She pulled up a chair and sat beside Sayako. Aitsuko wore a navy blue suit and very pointy heels. Her auburn hair was up in a bun and she completed her impeccable look with a navy blue beret. "Rina-kun will bring the contract shortly" Aitsuko said in such a small voice that both men leaned closer to hear. "Before she does, we need your manuscript, please".

Shigure pawed through Hatori's briefcase until he found it. He handed a neat, fairly-sized document to Aitsuko. Instantly, her eyes seemed to scan every single page, almost like an autobot.

Sayako flashed that catty smile again. "We would also like to ask you a few questions about your work". Feeling drunk with praise, Shigure replied, "Ask away! There is nothing I wouldn't answer to such a lovely lady". Hatori stomped on Shigure's left foot. Flinching, Shigure flushed a deep scarlet. For a fleeting five seconds, Hatori felt sure Sayako's expression had changed. She didn't like the fact that he was present…


	3. The Comeback Opportunity

**DISCLAIMER: ****I do not own anything related to Fruits Basket. It all belongs to Natsuki Takaya.**

**The Comeback Opportunity**

Rina had to knock several times before anyone had the remotest decency to answer. A loud _'Shigure-saaaaan'_ broke everyone's concentration inside Sayako's office.

Seconds before, Sayako's eyes were boring into Hatori's. To him it seemed she was playing a tug-o-war game for Shigure. Shigure felt uneasy too, despite the fact that he tried to appear oblivious to Aitsuko's x-raying stares. He thought of Takoyaki from time to time, as it helped ease his nerves, but not his stomach.

When Rina sounded desperate enough, Shigure stood up and opened the door for her. "It's Rina-kun again! Miss Maki and the other (creepy) lovely lady were about to ask me some questions". Rina held a small folder, what eventually appeared to be the contract and handed it to Sayako. She shuddered and backed away, as if her superior was the plague.

Sayako's eyes were now on Shigure. "Well, tell me now, Shigure…" she said in a soft voice "how much of this manuscript involves telling the general public about the Curse of the 12shi?" Both men's eyebrows rose so fast, they looked like they had flown to their hair.

"I guess I can answer that, Sayako-san" Aitsuko almost whispered. "There is nothing regarding the Curse here, only a highly interesting thriller from Sohma-san".

Sayako's eyes blazed menacingly. "All the research we've done and not a single word! We had higher expectations of you, Shigure-san". Hatori looked calm and calculating. "We came to discuss a novel and you present us such a scam… I am afraid you have approached the wrong people if you seek that kind of material". Shigure strained his ears. Someone close to him drew in some breath.

Aitsuko turned her head to Hatori. "Your estate is fairly easy to find, albeit, a private and very secluded one. We need those details. Uncover the mysteries people have only heard, speculated. Consider it a free service for… The Ultimate Sohma Fan Club".

"The WHAT?!" Shigure blurted out, looking alert.

"The Ultimate Sohma Fan Club" Sayako repeated coolly. We need to be swift right now! RINA! You know my orders!" Rina bolted upright, feeling oddly out of place. Small tears began to roll down her Lolita face.

Hatori stood up quickly, grabbing his briefcase and yanking Shigure from his seat. "If that's the case, you will deal with our lawyers and the authorities" he said sharply, ready for the door. As he turned, Sayako darted from her desk and grabbed Hatori by the arm. He spun and lost his balance, his back hit the desk. Shigure almost toppled sideways as Rina wrapped her arms around his waist, hugging him. Sayako lunged and hugged Hatori…

******************************************

…One side of Shigure's suit was damp with Rina's tears. Hatori's back throbbed painfully and he groaned. Sayako was all over him. She had a puzzled look in her eyes, she had been clearly expecting something… and it didn't turn the way she had viewed it inside her head.

_Nothing? _Sayako mouthed with disbelief. "Yes. Nothing. Now please, get of off me" Hatori said coldly. Sayako did as she was told, a shocked expression on her face. Shigure was already on his feet. He felt as if he had seen a sledgehammer coming, and it luckily missed him. Dazed. Rina slid away and stood shyly in a corner, fat tears rolling down her rosy cheeks.

"Are you okay, Ha-san?" Shigure said as he helped Hatori up. "This is it. We're leaving". Sayako was a black fury. "This isn't over, Sohma! You tricked us! We need those details and we need them good!" She heard Rina's sobs and she turned to her. "You. You better get a grip or this will be your last job, sister!"

Aitsuko spoke again, startling everyone in the room. "Shigure-san, you wouldn't possibly waste your comeback opportunity with us—" Hatori cut across her. "Talking about our privacy is not an option!" Gazing at Hatori's fierce eyes, Shigure cleared his throat and his face lighted up. "My comeback opportunity, eh? No problem, you'll get a fully detailed story!" he said briskly, putting his glasses on and with the contract in his hands.

Reading it, he plowed on. "I know the perfect way to get your hands on all the information you will ever need" he paused for a moment "ah, under one condition…"

Hatori froze on the spot. Sayako was eyeing Shigure with great interest. "Yes?" Shigure adjusted his glasses, smiling. "Any provided information must stay true and intact. No revisions. As the contract says, Ink-Link Publishers, namely you, can be held accountable for the credibility and quality of all submitted works, like memoirs, autobiographies and the likes".

"Correct" Sayako replied.

Hatori was now **_rooted_** to the spot. Sayako held her pen and notepad at the ready. "Now we're understanding each other, Sayako. Let's see… an interview this Friday sounds good? I know you can squeeze that one in. We'll be calling you tomorrow". With that said, Shigure signed the contract. "Jolly good. Now, Sayako, I can give you this head start…" Shigure scribbled a very familiar address on Sayako's notepad "… and we can arrange anything you please there. You can do the honours by signing too, Sa-chan".

Sayako looked at Shigure in awe, as if Heaven came out of him, and signed. Hatori opened the door and gave the ladies a little nod. "Yep, we have a deal! I'm sorry for all the inconveniences. Ha-san here is rather sensitive about family matters. We will…" he winked "…keep in touch". Afterwards, both men left the office to take the lift.

"Ha-san, I am so hungry, we're still ordering Takoyaki, right…?"

"You… are… impossible, Shigure" Hatori replied darkly. "You better know what you're doing…"

Shigure giggled all the way down to the ground lobby, Hatori started fearing for his sanity. Shigure loosened his tie confidently.

"Don't look at me like that, Ha'ri. This is an excellent idea".

**End notes: It's up to here at the moment. I've been writing almost nonstop and I've reached a bit I need to think and tinker over. If you've read this far, thank you. It'll take some time before I devise something that fits in the story the way I view it in my head… maybe a few days.**

**^_^**


	4. The Dazzling Three

**DISCLAIMER: ****I do not own anything related to Fruits Basket. It all belongs to ****Natsuki Takaya.**

**The Ultimate Sohma Fan Club**

**The Dazzling Three**

"Tori-san, get it through your intellectual skull already. This is a wonderful plan, even by _**my**_standards. I am deeply impressed!"

A flamboyant voice rang from the receiver and Hatori rolled his eyes. It was almost midnight. This person needed to use the phone for _everything._ "But of course, this is Shigure we're talking about. The object of my nightly visions, my significant half…!" Shigure smiled and his eyes shone while Hatori leaned comfortably against the threshold of his living room, smoking. Shigure was in a happy mood. He even seemed to be emitting sparkles.

"Aya, you definitely complete me… and you know what I love the most?"

"Yes?"

"That we always share everything, don't you think?"

"_Absolutely—"_

Hatori's back was still hurting, he looked at the phone. "What you two undoubtedly share is a single neuron".

Ayame's deep, musical voice was suddenly blasting from the receiver. "Ha'ri! I definitely heard _that_, you dull, stubborn man!" he exclaimed dramatically. "Maybe I can come over and give you a massage? There must be so much _tension _on _ALL _your pressure points—"

"We will get back to this _plan_ or this conversation is _over_" Hatori said darkly, his hand over the phone line wire.

"_COLD AND HEARTLESS HA'RI! HOW CAN YOU SLEEP AT NIGHT?!" _Shigure and Ayame both shouted in unison. Hatori's hand inched a bit closer around the phone line.

Sighing, Shigure resumed the matter after munching on some Takoyaki. "Essentially, the plan is to give them a fake story, and Ayame will provide _all _the details. Once I submit it, it's automatically theirs. No one has to find anything about us. Something happens, we say we've been framed all along, which is true".

"Which is why you need me!" Ayame's lively voice flowed. "Recognising your cousin's outstanding talents. My creativity will certainly blow them away! I am most touched".

"There is a loophole" Hatori interjected. "Sayako can use this information against you, Shigure, or against the three of us if Ayame intervenes. We know she doesn't work alone".

Ayame's billowy voice came in, "Hatori, do you not realize this feels exactly like in the old days? Leave it to me. I, with my grand, persuasively charming skills, will convince that angst-ridden woman! That deadly, sensual display of fierceness has shaken you, Hatori! Those women cannot get away with it!" Ayame announced decisively. "We must recover your manhood at once!"

Shigure was giggling uncontrollably.

"My manhood is intact, Ayame" Hatori replied seriously.

"Aya-nii, Hatori's made a good point there… not his manhood. We must be very careful and you have to be especially cautious with what you tell them" Shigure said calmly. "If we meet at your shop, Sayako might be more willing to control herself. We will see you early on Friday… oh, you want to talk to Ha'ri? Sure."

Shigure handed the phone to Hatori, who took it and listened quietly. He frowned, smoking more intently. "You suggest that again and I swear I'll put you in a straightjacket". Hatori hung up quietly.

Shigure was suddenly curious as he ate more Takoyaki. "What did Aya say?" Hatori smoked some more.

"…If anything fails, I could model for Sayako in one of Ayame's wedding gowns".

Hatori sighed loudly. He looked down at Shigure, who was slowly crouching to the floor between laughing fits, holding one hand against the wall and the other hand holding a Takoyaki plate.

************************************************

**End notes: This short one is dedicated to Lori-chan because she just asked when I was updating. Oh, and because she wants Akito and Shigure to stay together forever. ^_^**

**JeniNeji: She's helped me with all my rookie mistakes. SHE'S AWESOME. 3**


	5. An Important Sohma Exchange

**DISCLAIMER:****I do not own anything related to Fruits Basket. It all belongs to****Natsuki Takaya.**

**An important Sohma exchange**

A lone dark-haired figure leaned against the shogi door looking at the sunrise. Yawning, he rubbed his eyes and scratched his chin. He hardly slept the night before, and while acknowledging this, his brain demanded that he should go to bed and stay there. His body was committing treason against his own will. Or better put, recurring thoughts of her had interfered with his sleeping schedule.

A second figure paced around the room with a glass of water in hand. The first one just needed to turn his head to find out who it was.

"Morning, Hatori" Shigure mumbled. "It's been a while since I last saw the sun coming up."

Hatori nodded, taking a sip from his glass and remained silent while Shigure plowed on.

"Akito doesn't know anything about this. Maybe it was a bad idea after all and if this backfires Sayako will give me hell…"

Hatori gave his cousin a stern look. Moments ago, he was toying with his glass. "Now this is new. Who would have thought you'd ever feel guilty? I'm sure this has nothing to do with Sayako and everything to do with the possibility of putting your wishes above Akito's."

Shigure lowered his head for a moment. He was certain Hatori's judgment was accurate and as sharp as a surgical knife. He felt a tiny tear rolling down his cheek. "Her graceful, fragile form reminds me sometimes of the low-life I am… Even after the Curse, I am still the worst of the pack. Shameless."

He offered a lopsided grin to Hatori and straightened himself. "Perhaps" he continued "I didn't care as much as before. When all she cared about was being God to us and I stayed in her graces just because it was convenient. I can live with the idea of pulling the strings… but can I live with the knowledge of someone loving me exactly for who I am? Someone who needs me even if I sabotaged her mind?"

Hatori remained still, with one hand in his pocket while the other went through his hair. His gaze inspected this new person. This new man was finally accepting his flaws with overwhelming humility. He took a deep breath and picked up where he left. "Don't blame yourself for a past that is no longer Akito's. She's slowly trying to let go, and she will let go. Going back and reliving the nightmare is a way for some people to find answers about themselves. And you already have the answers. All she has left is you."

Shigure looked bemused as the sunlight was finally peering through the trees. Hatori downed the rest of his glass and turned to leave. "I just realized something..." Shigure said aloud.

"What is that?" his cousin replied still facing the room.

"Remember that time when I asked you to erase my memory?"

Hatori's expression softened, and nodding he replied, "Yes, I do remember it very well."

"I asked you to do it so I could start over again. To stop hating her because she had cheated on me and you said I was being a coward."

Hatori turned around and smiled. "That was when we fought the hardest" he said. "And that was also the first time I ever saw you all riled up because of a woman. In fact, that wasn't the last one either." His smile turned into a mischievous grin.

Shigure looked sideways at his cousin. "What do you mean it wasn't the last one _either_?" he asked, feigning indifference.

"There's Sayako, of course" was Hatori's swift reply. Noticing Shigure's even narrower gaze, he pressed on. "Yes, I am worried how they came to know about us…"

Hatori couldn't help noticing his cousin's deadpan stare now. Shigure looked as serious as ever. Hatori's grin grew wider.

"Ha'ri. Don't think you'll get away with trying to be me. Doesn't suit you."

At these words, Hatori laughed and Shigure sighed in relief. It was nice, and he had to admit it, to see a youthful, joking Hatori every once in a while.


	6. Mint in the Jar and Animal Testing

Disclaimer: Everything-**except Sayako, Rina, and Aitsuko** on previous chapters so far—belongs to Natsuki Takaya.

**Mint in the jar and animal testing**

_"What…"_

_"…the…"_

_"…hell?"_

It was a sunny Friday afternoon. Shigure and Hatori Sohma had just arrived at Ayame's boutique when an unlikely sight was fully displayed before their very own eyes.

Ayame was reclining on a fancy, velvet salon chair with his hair all wrapped up in a towel. Beside him, on a small round table, was an extensive facial kit with a few jars, a table knife, and half a cucumber. His face was all smothered with a pale green, minty cream. One cucumber slice covered his left eye. Of course, Hatsuharu was about to put another slice on Ayame's right eye.

Shigure and Hatori Sohma both uttered "What the hell…?" in disbelief after closing the door behind them. Their mere presence being a stimulus to him, Ayame sprung up from his chair, his eyes looking more golden than ever, and almost knocking Hatsuharu down. "This is wonderful! You're here at last!" Ayame exclaimed to the pair of dumbfounded males before him.

"Why are you… wearing a facial? Shigure inquired. He couldn't stand too much mint on his cousin either.

"Shigure! How silly of you to ask! But of course, you'd think _I_ don't need a facial with these looks" Ayame replied, looking bemused. "Still, today is an important day, gentlemen! We have guests, haven't we?" With a determined, dramatic stare, Ayame announced:

"Being a designer is such a noble task as it is a tiring one… but that is nothing compared to helping you. They shall see me, Sohma Ayame, in all my splendor!"

Very slowly, wiping the knife table clean, Hatsuharu was looking at the three of them with beady eyes. And he was not putting it down.

"What is Hatsuharu doing here?" Hatori asked in a dull voice. In a calm, indifferent voice, Hatsuharu replied, still holding the knife. "Aya-niisan has offered me a part-time job. To help me with my tuition fees. Yuki won't accept anything from him yet, since he is so damn nosy."

"Yes! We're moving on to facials now! Isn't this great?" Ayame cried, excitement pouring out of him as he adjusted his royal blue robe. Flashing a delighted smile, Ayame briskly picked up a pale green cream jar, pungent with mint. "Maybe both of you would LOVE a facial? Haru…!" Both men rejected the offer straight away. Ayame gave them both a killer stare. "But Ha'ri! You need to get rid of those hideous, dark circles around your eyes! And Shigure could use both a pedicure and an exfoliating cream!"

Tucking the knife in his pocket, Hatsuharu yawned as Ayame chased the other two Sohmas, jars in his hands looking like bludgeons. Hatsuharu yawned some more. "You know, it's a good thing the Curse has already been lifted, or who knows and we could've all been sent away due to illegal animal testing."


	7. YPEs and Something More from Ha'ri

**Disclaimer: Everything-except Sayako, Rina, and Aitsuko—belongs to Natsuki Takaya.**

**YPEs, and something more from Ha'ri**

High, black heels clicked-clacked on Ayame's polished floor as he welcomed Saki Sayako, and Misaya Rina, two hours later. Hatori gave him an ultimatum: it was best if only Ayame reeked of annoying mint cream in case Onaki Aitsuko, the robot-like minion, showed up as well.

"At least the creep with the severe hairdo isn't here, thank goodness." Shigure fidgeted behind the cashier's counter, unseen and rather sweaty. Hatori stretched his legs as if pleased with life. "Stop worrying, Shigure, It was your idea after all."

"But that's exactly the point!" Shigure whispered a bit too heatedly. "You approve of this scheme with Hatsuharu here!" he argued, nervous and suddenly in need of a bathroom break.

Hatsuharu looked bored and drummed his fingers on his knee. "I thought you'd support Ayame. Unconditionally. Relax and get on with the program."

A few feet from them, Ayame was helping Rina-kun with her briefcase and complimenting Sayako's polished appearance. Her hair was tied in a loose pony tail. Her starched, white blouse and dark pencil skirt were too plain compared to her fierce, authoritative character. As it was usual with the ladies, Ayame had chairs ready for them, a third one was missing to Shigure's relief.

"At least the creep's not here…" Shigure murmured. Hatori looked wary.

"Sayako's hot" Hatsuharu replied, a rueful smile on his face and his eyes gleaming. His flexed fingers were a clear sign he wanted to wreak havoc. Shigure held him at bay. "You're not ruining this, you punk…"

"You old geezer, she's mine! You can't stop me, let me go!" Black Haru was about to sprint towards an unaware Sayako, but Hatori stuck his foot out, making him trip over. Gnarling, Black Haru wanted to go after her again, shoving Hatori's arm out of the way. Shigure, in order to silence such a racket, grabbed a cloth and pressed it over Black Haru's mouth. The annoying minty smell struck again and made poor Hatsuharu woozy.

Sayako and Rina now faced Ayame, who was silk-clad, wearing a flowing, plum-colored suit which contrasted with his shiny silver hair. Both ladies tried to peer from between the long racks of clothing, searching for the source of the ruckus. Ayame waved his hand, flamboyant and dismissive. "Don't worry ladies… now that you're here to interview me, let's begin—"

"Discussing Shigure-san's life, of course!" Rina cut across him, her wide amber eyes sparkling and her purple curls bouncing.

"No." Sayako intoned, a shade of dark in her voice. "We obviously came to discuss the Curse of the 12shi. You will tell us what I need to know about it. I cannot reveal my sources to you, just so you know."

"And why is that, Saki-san?" Ayame questioned her, eyebrow raised and his hands poised. Sayako stared at every inch of him, though Ayame appeared to be impervious to her threatening look. "The Curse is intrinsically exclusive, I and only I, have to know exactly who told you. There is no way someone outside the Sohma family would contact you and tell you." He thought about Tohru for a few seconds, but he concluded she valued her word too much to blab about something so delicate. Kyo, as reckless as he was, wouldn't have told anyone either.

"Oh, Sohma-san. I will only tell you I have a trustworthy tip-off from Berlin. And he, oh, what a child, was too candid and I told him I would obviously get this published under the guise of helping Shigure with his comeback." Behind the counter, Hatsuharu, Hatori, and Shigure held their breaths, wide-eyed. Hatori thought: _I will get him_…

"Are you sure you want to know all this classified information?" Ayame asked through quizzical golden eyes as he brushed his silver hair with one hand, waiting.

"Rina! You will write everything Ayame-san tells us. Absolutely everything."

"Then let us not wait any longer, shall we?" Ayame replied, cross-legged and moving his right hand with the usual gracefulness. With a flourish, he continued. "You might be surprised to know I'm an alien…from a very, very distant planet."

Shigure, Hatori, and Hatsuharu-who was back to normal-were peering through the endless lines of fabric. "At least he's telling the truth" Hatsuharu mumbled "if anything, he's a freak after all."

"You shut up!" Shigure retorted with an angry whisper. "You'll blow it!"

Meanwhile, Ayame looked dead serious. Rina's scratching pen could be heard between interviewers and interviewee, her hand running across the paper.

"We, the 12shi, are the next step in evolution. It will be a matter of time before we take over this country and the world. Obviously, I am their splendid, lethal leader." At this point, Ayame's voice trailed away like silk. He could've purred if he wanted to.

Hatsuharu was trying hard to suppress a chuckle. "They're not going to buy that crap. It won't even reach the tabloids."

Hatori hit him with his elbow; it was a quick, painful jab. "You'd be surprised at what Ayame can accomplish" he muttered, his voice dark.

Rina stretched her fingers while Sayako egged her on. Her catty smile was bared again, flashy, ravenous, menacing.

"Of course, darling, you must give credit to the Yakuza and their YPEs" Ayame intoned with glee. "I can tell you are astonished by this new intelligence, seeing as Shigure-san and Ha'ri are not human either. Your beautiful assistant here must emphasize that as well on her notes."

Looking frazzled, Rina took a leap of faith. "YPEs? What are they?" she inquired, her eyes wide and innocent.

Ayame let out a blooming chuckle. Sayako was not amused. "Well, my dear, aren't you such a kitten? Yakuza Prototype Experiments they are called—"

"But on my assistant's notes it says you are a designer and run this boutique. This has NO relation whatsoever with the Yakuza!" Sayako wailed. Her face was now a mosaic of different shades of red.

Still lurking in the back of the store with Shigure at his side, Hatsuharu chortled. "I told you it wasn't going to work…" Somehow, Hatsuharu sensed something, or someone, had gone missing.

* * *

"That freak took him, I swear! Maybe she didn't get in with the others but probably teleported or something through the emergency exit!"

Hatsuharu looked back at a bewildered Shigure as he slowly grabbed a jar. He couldn't stand Shigure getting panicky plus paranoid, and had the clear intention of knocking Shigure unconscious if needed.

To their misfortune, Hatori was nowhere to be seen. Ayame's storytelling skills involving the perfect Yakuza army of mercenaries weren't enough to distract Sayako's mind. She then turned her head to the source of the noise. "Is that Shigure-san I hear?" Sayako moved in her chair like a predator scenting the air.

Ayame gasped in clear indignation, realizing how rude she was for not praising his narrative in the first place. "I am certain," Ayame went on "you are very unaware of the dangers of a needle in inexperienced hands! They can be. Deadly."

All of a sudden, a jar broke. In quick succession, Shigure shot right up, Hatsuharu's eyes widened, and Ayame stood up clapping. All the standing ovations, tears, and ringing of bells throughout the world could never surmount to the moment his golden gaze set on Hatori wearing one of his best wedding gowns.

"Bodices are worse. They can be torture devices, Miss Saki." Hatori breathed. He was as feminine as his masculinity would allow in a tight, white-laced wedding gown. Sayako's face was the deepest shade of scarlet ever known to man or alien.

"You tell Sohma-san I won't forgive him. I have never been so humiliated in my life! You tell him he can kiss my ass and look for another publisher! I promise, you will pay dearly, Sohma Shigure! I will DESTROY your reputation!"

Shigure popped up beside a shaky Sayako. He couldn't help but smile wider with each second. He was holding a digital recorder in his hand. "No need for that, cupcake. I won't require your services since," he pointed at the device "this is your property now. Remember when you signed the contract? Anything I give you, I can no longer claim. Completely yours. So, publish at your own risk."

All the red washed out from Sayako as he gave her the digital recorder. Rina cradled her knees in a corner while Ayame comforted her. With a wink, Shigure warned Sayako: "Publish that, you lose your company. Don't publish, and the real Yakuza will be involved. If you don't mind," he looked at Rina, who was suddenly hugging his leg. "I'll be taking this little lady as my new assistant if she's willing."

Sayako lowered her head, promising to get rid of the evidence, terminate the Ultimate Sohma Fan Club in exchange for telling Shigure on the spot who told her about the Curse, not without throwing him a bunny-eared kiss. All it took was speed-dial to let her clique know their biggest idol, Shigure, was in the boutique with his relatives.

An hour later, Sayako strolled out of the boutique with her pack of giggling girls, still repressing the urge to kiss Hatori in his normal civilian clothes. In her mind's eye, Hatori was the handsomest man she had ever seen in her life. Rina was Shigure's distant cousin. Sayako and her friends were discussing a not so recent trip to Germany, but couldn't recall the handsome blonde boy they met while on vacation.

Shigure then patted Hatori on the back, feeling immensely proud.

* * *

**Endnote:**

**At first, I really wasn't picturing Hatori in a wedding gown. It just came out that way. It's beyond me if you are suddenly upset. I do love Hatori! I've been trying to get this chapter done so I can write more and other types of fanfics.**

**Hope you enjoy this one!**

**Love xxxx**


	8. The Dazzling Three: RELOADED

**DISCLAIMER:****I do not own anything related to Fruits Basket. It all belongs to ****Natsuki Takaya**

**The Dazzling Three: RELOADED**

"Berlin! Oh dear! You do know what it means, Gure-san?"

And so swirled the voice of Ayame Sohma on the phone while Hatori stretched his limbs out.

"Yes, Ayame…?" Shigure asked back.

"Long, nightly strolls around Alexanderplatz and Potsdamerplatz… daytime bonding, so many cafés we could visit!"

Shigure sighed. In his mind's eye, Ayame seemed to be emitting sparkles. For another split second, his thoughts went back to Akito. She had worked so hard getting him a publisher in Germany. Momiji owed them that much.

"We need to do something about Momiji first. He can't go on babbling about us to the first psycho-girl he encounters even if there's no Curse. Have you any idea what that does to my career?"

"Not that it really matters to you anyway, you'd rather be with Akito if the choice were exclusively yours" Hatori cut across, his mellow voice stinging in Shigure's ears. "But you might as well take this chance to boost your career more… and get some discipline. Be grateful Okama Publishers is covering the tour expenses here and there. After all I had to go through with Sayako…"

"I propose we erase Momiji's memories…?" Shigure muttered darkly.

"Then good luck handing in your manuscript once you get there. No high school girls." Hatori replied while Shigure looked at him, making sad puppy eyes. "No, I won't help you fetch any girls half your age. Not here, not there either. And Momiji will understand after I have a talk with him."

"YES! Ha'ri!" Ayame's voice blasted through the receiver. "Besides, I can convince Momiji to talk to someone so I can showcase you during the Berlin Fashion Week! You're such a great model, Ha'ri!"

Hatori narrowed his eyes and weighed his words. "Ayame, I'll abandon you in the woods and tell everyone once we're back home you were eaten by bears."

Shigure was too busy giggling. His thriller manuscript "The Crimson Vigilante and the Kiss of Fire" was lying before him. He squirmed, reliving Hatori in a wedding gown, the phone on one hand, and a Takoyaki plate on the other.

**END**

* * *

**Endnote:**

**And so here concludes my first full-fanfic with eight chapters. To any and every reader, hope you really enjoy reading this. I certainly enjoyed writing it.**


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